right actions

We've all done it - said something mean, hurtful, angry, insensitive, rude, embarrassing, foolish, prideful, arrogant, etc. etc. - some words have slipped by our lips that we later regret.

And the actions we sometimes take can be even worse - a look, a huff, a roll of the eyes, a slam of the door, a heavy march of the feet, perhaps a slap with the hand - and we all know that actions speak more loudly than our words.

Hopefully an appropriate apology helps to heal these momentary slip-ups, when perhaps emotions catch us off guard.

To speak is to act - and we speak and act sometimes in ways we know we shouldn't. We of course mature and learn to leave behind some of these things, but we'll always make mistakes in our far from perfect selves. The pre-meditated actions we take, however, are not so easily healed by a simple apology, when the action we've taken isn't a simple mix-up or emotional outburst.

I think back on the times when I've done things I later regret, and besides simple maturity, it seems that there are two reasons that keep popping up for why this occurs. One is that I simply didn't care about the thing I should have cared about. Like when my friends and I teased that weird boy in 5th grade - we didn't care about him. He was gross, uncool, and whatever else we couldn't see past. We place things out of their proper order in the heirarchy of stuff that matters; our values are not where they ought to be. Apathy kills almost as much as outright hatred. A second reason is simple ignorance - a lack of knowledge or information, an oversight of something that we should have taken the time to be aware of.

But if I first check the heart, and then check the head, perhaps the body will follow with actions that heal instead of hurt, that build instead of tear down.

right discernments

A simple definition for "Think" - simply right discernments.

I'll be honest - I'm not totally sure how we can always know if our thinking patterns will lead to the right kinds of discernments. But I'm not really interested in getting overly philosophical about this here in this blog. So here are a few key things that I think at least aim us in the right direction:
1) strong basis in factual information
2) recognize the limits of what we know
3) make good and careful observations
4) logical steps in a rational argument
5) stay focused
6) do our thinking after checking the heart for good motives
7) reach balanced judgments

right values

So I've been thinking about what love exactly is - and it's difficult to come up with a single definition. The dictionary has a whole bunch of definitions for it. Other than a score in tennis, most of the defintions have words like affection, devotion, & attraction as the crux of what love is.

Part of the problem is the English language, which has a single word for a whole bunch of different ideas - I love my wife, my cat, my children, that joke you just told, that TV show, and I love to play the guitar. And of course, I don't mean the same thing in each case.

Although certainly in different amounts, I value the object of affection in each case. And maybe that's the trick - the things we love are the things where we focus our attention and they are the things we value.

But... if I value hatred, then I don't love. So perhaps love is where we value the things that we are supposed to value - when we care about the things in life that are really worth caring about. Perhaps love is simply having the right values.

True Sportsmanship

I was sent the following story earlier today:

Opponents carry injured home-run hitter around bases

Apparently during a women's softball game, one girl hit the ball out of the park - Holy Cow!! - but while turning first, she was injured and couldn't move.

The options were for her to make it around the bases by herself, or let a pinch runner come in and the home run would be counted as a single. Her teammates could not help her around the bases.

But her opponents could - the first basemen and shortstop of the opposing team picked her up, and moved her around the bases letting her touch each one with her good leg. But it came at a price - the move seems to have caused a loss for defensive team and knocked them out of the playoffs.

Although I've never been a big player of sports, I love playing with friends and watching my favorite teams. But quite honestly, I've gotten so sick of the garbage surrounding sports in the past few years - jail time, steriods, Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds, Ocho, Terrell - there are some bad apples to say the least in professional sports.

First basemen Mallory Holtman said, "In the end, it is not about winning and losing so much. It was about this girl. She hit is over the fence and was in pain, and she deserved a home run."

What an impressive move, showing real character and sportsmanship! That's the kind of person I want working in my business, running my government, or teaching in my schools - someone who will do the right thing to help someone else even though it costs them.