balanced judgment

One thing I really try to instill in my students is to reach a balanced judgment on an issue they are writing about. In science, this bears out in that it is important to deal with all the facts & hypotheses dealing with an issue without favoring one over the other for no particular reason. The constant progression of science will ultimately shed light on scientific falsehoods.

It takes some effort to teach this, however, because we don't see a lot of modeling of balanced judgment in the rest of our non-academic lives. What we tend to see instead is spin. The truth of the matter isn't what is important, it's how well you can convince others that your opinion or position on an issue is the right one. This mentality of rhetoric pervades our current bi-polar U.S. political arena without a doubt. It is also pervasive in our culture through advertising - to sell the product is more important than to be completely truthful about it, so stretch the truth as far as is legally possible. The problem is that a mentality of rhetoric is not about truth, it's about power.

Love-Think-Speak requires that we abandon this kind of behavior. Things that are true are to be valued above things that are false, and achieving power through falsehood does not reflect a respect for the things in life that are true and good. There are few things more deserving of respect than when a person is open and honest with the truth regardless of how it might affect them.

LTS at work

One of my favorite shows is "Chuck", on NBC Monday nights (although I watch all my TV from the DVR at later times...). For those who aren't familiar with the show (shame on you!), Chuck works at "Buy More", where he's the head of the "Nerd Herd", a group of computer fixers. I'll let you figure out where they got that idea.

Anyway, the "bossman" is a guy called "Big Mike", who is constantly yelling at his crew of workers to be more efficient, work harder, etc. etc. And you can't blame him much - most of the workers he has are not exactly stellar. And the workers, honestly, they work at the Buy More - not exactly the career path chosen for inspiration. So you have an environment set up where the workers feel largely unfulfilled, don't work very hard, and their bossman is constantly on their case to do work harder, which in turn causes the workers to feel less inspired to work harder. The workers don't get much respect, and for the most part their efforts don't exactly deserve it.

Love-Think-Speak at work doesn't mean BigMike is all gushing over his strugglin' employees - but it does mean he treats them with respect. Respect for their dignity as human beings, which is always there. But we tend to look at the outside - a person's look, attitude, and general performance, and base our respect for them on those things, and when they are scruffy, sloppy, or otherwise unattractive we deny them respect that their humanity requires. Of course that doesn't mean they can continue their poor work habits, and simply get a pass. Respect for one's humanity requires keeping them honest about who they are, what they are capable of, and how they are measuring up to that.

what's your life about?

Today I asked a friend of mine "What's your life about?". When I think about that question, it's a chance for me to think about the various hats I wear as I go about categorizing my life into parts - there's the "daddy" hat when I'm home with the kids, "hubby" hat when I'm with my wife, "teacher" hat when I'm working with students, etc. I'm never satisfied with all this compartmentalization of life, but it seems inevitable. His deep, mature, yet simple reply was exactly what I need to hear - "love", he said. That everything we do, however we go about it, we do it in a spirit of love - to live a life of love. brilliant. why didn't I think of that?

So I went back to my hats, and each one fits very nicely when love is what grounds the task or relationship that the hat represents.

is it ever ok?

Is there ever a time when acting with good intentions is optional? Is there ever a time when it's ok to hate?

I can't think of it.

Perhaps there is a time when something so terrible happens that we are driven to it... such as mass killings, abuse of children, rape, betrayal... But thank God the really terrible things in life are somewhat rare.

It's in the normal flow of life where it seems to slip in for really no good reason. It's easy to lose sense of the big picture, and let self-indulgence drive us to hate people for silly things - most of which we can, if we choose, simply rise above. Bitterness is just not worth it.

All you need is love?

the beatles - yes, that icon of rock n roll - their famous song claims "All You Need is Love". One of the most famous of all sappy love songs. And there are thousands. But is it true?

Well, sort of - it depends on how you define love I suppose.

Love without good rational thinking is ignorant, and love without articulate speaking, through word or action, is lame. Serious heartfelt love motivates us to do both of these things as part of it - because real love can not stand to be lame and ignorant. But if love is just a happy feeling, a temporary romance, or a fleeting wave of emotion, then we all need a whole lot more than just that.

amateur lovers

One of my favorite bands, Switchfoot, has a song on their latest album "Oh! Gravity" called "Amatuer Lovers". Not one of their greatest songs, but I like some of the lyrics.

"Everyone I know needs love like drugs
Like a common cold we could never shrug
My baby and me, we're missing the same stuff
We've all got a disease, deficiency of love

Every day we still try
Every night we still cry

We don't know what we're doing
We do it again
We're just amateur lovers
With amateur friends"

It makes an interesting point: we know what we need, we know what we need to do, and we keep trying to do it, but we just aren't very good at it - we're amatuers. None of us are professionals when in this. And that's ok, because the point is really in the struggle - we try, we sometimes fail, but the next day we pick ourselves up and keep trying again. To give up and stop trying is the real failure.

right actions

We've all done it - said something mean, hurtful, angry, insensitive, rude, embarrassing, foolish, prideful, arrogant, etc. etc. - some words have slipped by our lips that we later regret.

And the actions we sometimes take can be even worse - a look, a huff, a roll of the eyes, a slam of the door, a heavy march of the feet, perhaps a slap with the hand - and we all know that actions speak more loudly than our words.

Hopefully an appropriate apology helps to heal these momentary slip-ups, when perhaps emotions catch us off guard.

To speak is to act - and we speak and act sometimes in ways we know we shouldn't. We of course mature and learn to leave behind some of these things, but we'll always make mistakes in our far from perfect selves. The pre-meditated actions we take, however, are not so easily healed by a simple apology, when the action we've taken isn't a simple mix-up or emotional outburst.

I think back on the times when I've done things I later regret, and besides simple maturity, it seems that there are two reasons that keep popping up for why this occurs. One is that I simply didn't care about the thing I should have cared about. Like when my friends and I teased that weird boy in 5th grade - we didn't care about him. He was gross, uncool, and whatever else we couldn't see past. We place things out of their proper order in the heirarchy of stuff that matters; our values are not where they ought to be. Apathy kills almost as much as outright hatred. A second reason is simple ignorance - a lack of knowledge or information, an oversight of something that we should have taken the time to be aware of.

But if I first check the heart, and then check the head, perhaps the body will follow with actions that heal instead of hurt, that build instead of tear down.

right discernments

A simple definition for "Think" - simply right discernments.

I'll be honest - I'm not totally sure how we can always know if our thinking patterns will lead to the right kinds of discernments. But I'm not really interested in getting overly philosophical about this here in this blog. So here are a few key things that I think at least aim us in the right direction:
1) strong basis in factual information
2) recognize the limits of what we know
3) make good and careful observations
4) logical steps in a rational argument
5) stay focused
6) do our thinking after checking the heart for good motives
7) reach balanced judgments

right values

So I've been thinking about what love exactly is - and it's difficult to come up with a single definition. The dictionary has a whole bunch of definitions for it. Other than a score in tennis, most of the defintions have words like affection, devotion, & attraction as the crux of what love is.

Part of the problem is the English language, which has a single word for a whole bunch of different ideas - I love my wife, my cat, my children, that joke you just told, that TV show, and I love to play the guitar. And of course, I don't mean the same thing in each case.

Although certainly in different amounts, I value the object of affection in each case. And maybe that's the trick - the things we love are the things where we focus our attention and they are the things we value.

But... if I value hatred, then I don't love. So perhaps love is where we value the things that we are supposed to value - when we care about the things in life that are really worth caring about. Perhaps love is simply having the right values.

True Sportsmanship

I was sent the following story earlier today:

Opponents carry injured home-run hitter around bases

Apparently during a women's softball game, one girl hit the ball out of the park - Holy Cow!! - but while turning first, she was injured and couldn't move.

The options were for her to make it around the bases by herself, or let a pinch runner come in and the home run would be counted as a single. Her teammates could not help her around the bases.

But her opponents could - the first basemen and shortstop of the opposing team picked her up, and moved her around the bases letting her touch each one with her good leg. But it came at a price - the move seems to have caused a loss for defensive team and knocked them out of the playoffs.

Although I've never been a big player of sports, I love playing with friends and watching my favorite teams. But quite honestly, I've gotten so sick of the garbage surrounding sports in the past few years - jail time, steriods, Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds, Ocho, Terrell - there are some bad apples to say the least in professional sports.

First basemen Mallory Holtman said, "In the end, it is not about winning and losing so much. It was about this girl. She hit is over the fence and was in pain, and she deserved a home run."

What an impressive move, showing real character and sportsmanship! That's the kind of person I want working in my business, running my government, or teaching in my schools - someone who will do the right thing to help someone else even though it costs them.

think before you speak

Here's a link I found recently that's on topic:

How to Think Before Speaking

I especially like the ENATA rule of thumb: Effective, Necessary, Accurate, Timely, and Appropriate... too bad ENATA isn't an easier word to remember.

the right order

Lewis puts the words in the right order.

Love - Love comes first, setting the attitude of the heart toward the things that are really important in life. If my actions come from a heart full of hate or indifference, I can't see how I'll have any chance of making a positive impact on the world around me. It means that I first take stock of what's really important in life, and put first things first.

Think - Using the mind comes next, employing our mental powers to the best of our abilities. In coming after Love, we have already put first things first and the abilities of reason and thoughtfulness are directed at things that really matter. It is perfectly easy, if Think comes first, to rationalize all kinds of behavior that is self-centered. But when it takes it's place as second behind Love, the mind can arrive at solutions that will genuinely do good.

Speak - Finally comes action, and the hope is that if we've fixed the heart and mind on the things that matter, then hopefully the body will follow. Our actions then, taking place in the context of a loving heart and a thinking mind, will have a chance to really make a difference for good.

a simple motto

Three simple words - Love-Think-Speak - strike a strong connection within me. I have wondered to myself several times - "Why do I like that phrase so much? What draws me to it? Why does it ring so true?"

I read the Narnia series, like many others, as a child. I liked them, and of course these kinds of fantasy stories have a lot of appeal to children. When "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" appeared as a full film in 2005, I was interested in seeing it, and reliving those childhood memories of the books. It was sometime then that I decided to re-read the whole series, this time ~20 years later as an adult. Reading children's books as a adult is interesting - for one, it doesn't take very long. Secondly, you see more of the real guts of what the author was trying to say - the themes, imagery, and relation to real life come out on a completely different level, a level with much more meaning than you realize as a kid. It was in reading "The Magician's Nephew" as an adult that those three words hit me. I was sitting on my couch, late in the evening after the family had gone to bed - I read those words, and the power of their weight hit like the proverbial ton of bricks. I literally dropped the book on the floor, jaw agape, and thought to myself "that's exactly everything I've ever believed about life, summed up in three little words!!" Those words come right after Aslan has selected a few of the animals to become more than what they were. It was as if Lewis was saying to me directly, reading his book some 50 years after he wrote it, that these are the things I need to do to be all that I should be.

I like it because it's simple. Three words, done. Easy to remember, not complicated.

I like it because it gives a goal. Something I can strive for, something to aspire to.

I like it because it rings true and complete. Each word is different, and plays it's own important role in life. All three words are needed.

It isn't because I get it right. I can imagine someone reading this, and thinking "he wrote that? that guy has some nerve". My life has not always been what I'd like it to be. At times I've said things I shouldn't have - would have been a whole lot better off if I would have just kept my mouth shut. Hopefully those individuals will eventually be able to look past my past mistakes.

In fact, it is partly because I don't get it right that it resonnates so well inside - as if everything I know is wrong in myself can maybe, just maybe, be made a little bit better if I keep those words in mind during the day. Not because it is what I am, but because it is what I want to be.

Free Hugs campaign

Ours is a disconnected society - personally anyway. At the same time, we're becoming increasingly aware of just how connected we are economically, politically, & environmentally across the globe. But these connections seem to happen at the same time as we become more and more disconnected on a personal level.

It's a given now that we don't talk to people we don't know (i.e., strangers!) on the street - which is especially odd in large cities where millions of people are constantly walking past one another, but with no personal connection - no conversations, few "hello!"s, rare eye contact, and certainly no hugs! We sometimes wear headphones so we can legitimize ignoring people. Even at the grocery store, you can go through the self-check out and not even have to interact with another human being.

Along comes this guy, starting his "free hugs" campaign. The word "free" is known as one of the greatest selling points in advertising - along with babies and puppies - advertise something for free, and you'll get business. So here's a guy standing on the street holding up a sign that says "Free Hugs". When a friend of mine sent this to me, he said "I ran across Jesus today". He just may be right.

The video follows this man on a social journey of sorts as he holds up his sign offering "free hugs" to complete strangers. It's interesting to see what happens and how people react to his offer. It's amazing what a simple hug can do when we break down these personal barriers we've set up between ourselves, in large part constructed on a foundation of mistrust. Instead of "I don't trust you", a hug says "I have faith in you".



Ok, so maybe you might think giving out hugs to complete strangers is a bit over the top, and you could never do that. I'll be honest - I don't know if I could do it either. How about a simple smile and a hello? Or getting to know the names of the strangers in our lives that we see every day? That I can do.

First Words from Aslan

"Narnia, Narnia, Narnia, awake. Love. Think. Speak. Be walking trees. Be talking beasts. Be divine waters."

Stories of beginnings are found in many (all?) of the various cultures of our planet. They often serve to give us answers to questions that we all find intriguing, yet difficult to answer - Who are we? Where do we come from? Why are we here? These questions go to the core of who we are and what we believe.

Even in the magical world of Narnia, answers to these questions go to the core of identity. Who are these talking beasts? Where did they come from? What is it that makes them different from the regular animals also found in Narnia? In Lewis's fictional world, we are given the answers from the mouth of the creator of Narnia - Aslan himself. The quote at the top of this post is from "The Magician's Nephew", the 6th of seven books in the Narnia series.

In many ways, "The Magician's Nephew" is the creation story of Narnia. Lewis writes a tale once again about children, but this time they stumble into Narnia as a barren, dark world. They arrive, however, just in time to watch it become. There they watch as Aslan selects a few animals, speaks the above words to them, and they become the magical talking beasts of Narnia. Three things make them different from the dumb animals, three things they must do in order to remain themselves - Love, Think, Speak. Otherwise, we find out a few pages later, they will return to their prior, dumb ways. We might say that these are the things that make them "human".

So back to reality - what if we try the same thing? What if we the people made these three words into a basic model for our lives? I think Lewis, in just 3 words, sums up what is really important in life - how we live, work, & play with one another. This blog is dedicated to exploring those ideas.