One Amazing Girl

One of my students sent me a link to this video, and it's truly amazing.  I realized that I haven't paid any attention to this blog for a very long time, and this is a great story to get back into it.  She was shot by terrorists because she wanted to go to school.  What a sick group of people!  She is a hero, a visionary, and extremely brave.  I really look forward to seeing how this girl will impact the world in her lifetime.  Imagine the heights she might be able to achieve over the next few decades.  I was thrilled to hear her talk about how her father influenced her, we need more men in the world who will support both their sons and their daughters.  Her maturity and articulation at such a young age are what really make her stand out.

"Education is the power for women, and that is why the terrorists are afraid of education."

It is sad, however, to hear how she has received a lot of criticism back home, instead of a groundswell of support.  The NY Times has a story today on this that is worth reading.

Religious Freedom & Health Care I

Today's NY Times has an article entitled, depending where you look, as either "Religious Groups and Employers Battle Contraception Mandate" or "A Flood of Suits Fights Coverage of Birth Control".

There are several issues in this article that I'd like to wrestle with, but I don't have time to deal with all of them in detail now.  I might come back to this in the future, which is why I've added roman numeral 1 to the title of this post.  If I get to it, there might be a "II" and a "III" in the future.  For now, I want to tackle the issue with how "religious employers" are defined by the Health & Human Services Dept. The article states:

"As applied by the Health & Human Services Department, the law offers an exemption for 'religious employers,' meaning those who meet a four-part test: that their purpose is to inculcate religious values, that they primarily employ and serve people who share their religious tenets, and that they are nonprofit groups under federal tax law."  

I take a serious issue with how the Health & Human Services Department (HHSD) defines a "religious employer".  It hits a problem with the 3rd portion, where a religious employer primarily serves people who share their religious tenets.  You see, the Christian Church has a commission to serve everyone, not just those who share the beliefs of the church.  This is an essential part of its entire existence.  In every part of its teachings, beliefs, & practices, the Christian Church holds that it must reach out to the rest of the world in service.  In order for the church to actually be the Church, it simply must serve those who don't share its beliefs.  To not do so, it would in a way cease to be itself.

Take for example the Kankakee IL Center of Hope.  The Center of Hope is a food pantry, a non-profit organization dedicated to providing free food to families in need.  It has only 3 part-time employees, but over 75 regular volunteers.  It was started by College Church of the Nazarene, and continues to operate based on the donations given by College Church & its people.  Many of the volunteers are college church members.  My wife has volunteered numerous times, for a while she did so on a regularly scheduled basis.  While I'm no lawyer, it sure seems to me like the Center of Hope would not be considered a religious employer by the HHSD, because the people that the Center of Hope serves are not its own members or even necessarily Christians.  Instead, it serves "individuals who meet the IDHS Income Guidelines".  It doesn't say anything there about the religious views of those who are served by the organization.  So it sure seems like the HHSD would not consider the Center of Hope as a religious employer.  And that's where the problem lies - the HHSD definition walls in religious organizations so that they can only be considered religious if they only serve themselves, a position that is contradictory to the very nature of religious organizations!  There is no question that the Center of Hope is a religious organization, and it should be treated as one by the U.S. Government.

This should also apply to a large number of other organizations - many adoption agencies, hospitals, crisis pregnancy centers, & universities are in the same situation.  They are most definitely religious organizations, originated by church people with religious motivations, sustained by the not coincidental giving of time & money by religious people.  And yet, their purpose and mission is to serve those who need help regardless of their faith.  By this act, they fulfill the mission of the Church to reach out and serve the larger world, but in doing so fail to be defined as religious organizations by the Health & Human Services Department.

This definition simply has to be adjusted to account for the reality of religious social organizations.  If this definition were corrected to remove the clause about organizations serving those who share the religious beliefs, most of these lawsuits against the Obama health care law would not exist.

Not cool, Robert Frost!

Stop whatever you're doing and watch this.  NOW.



What if there are two paths?  I want to take the one that leads to awesome.
The world needs you, stop being boring!

Can we answer the question, "Why, God?"

There's another good op-ed piece in the New York Times today entitled "Why, God?".  In it, a priest wrestles with the questions of suffering, why God allows bad things to happen, and what an appropriate response is.  Again, it doesn't answer all the questions, but offers a perspective based on compassion, faith, & life experience.

"One true thing is this: Faith is lived in family and community, and God is experienced in family and community. We need one another to be God’s presence."   

Story about a Christmas Prayer

I just read through a neat op-ed piece in the New York Times, by a woman who'd grown up in the Catholic church but had long since left it, but who nonetheless needed to say a prayer this Christmas.  It's a short but beautiful story of searching for a connection with God.  It certainly doesn't answer a lot of questions, and one wonders why she even wrote it, but it expresses a profound reality: "sometimes, out of nowhere, the spiritually confused can still come inside and kneel and feel their words might rise up and be heard."  

Gender issues in CT article

Yesterday, Christianity Today posted a great interview with Nicholas Kristof, an op-ed contributor to the NY Times and co-author of "Half the Sky", a book about injustice toward women & girls in many areas of the world.  Kristof is known as a fairly liberal, secular humanitarian, and yet his work on these issues has a lot of connection points with evangelicals.  The interview is really wonderful, and I encourage both of my blog readers to check it out!

Thanksgiving & Black Friday

We hosted Thanksgiving at our house again this year for the 2nd time.  I was thinking to myself as we were getting ready that Thanksgiving is perhaps one of the most spiritual holidays of the year.  By that I mean that celebrating it, in terms of actually taking stock of the things we're thankful for.  It's a distinctly inner-life, character building experience that's good for the soul.

Sometimes I think Thanksgiving in our culture seems to be crowded out on all sides.  We're still eating Halloween candy in our house, and Christmas lights have already been put up in our neighborhood.  Each year, stores have been starting their Black Friday shopping earlier & earlier, and this year it started on Thanksgiving Day in some places.  Walmart ran an ad campaign encouraging people to shop on Thanksgiving evening.  Waiting until Friday isn't even a necessity anymore; saving an entire day to give thanks consequently is also no longer necessary.  I'm a bit discouraged that we as a culture seem to keep pushing more and more toward consumerism and consumption.  Sometimes it seems like we as a society are saying "let's hurry up & get this thankfulness stuff out of the way so we can get to the shopping!".  A couple of weeks ago, @badbanana posted this bit of sarcastic funny: "CAN'T WAIT TO BUST OPEN SOME DOORS AND TRAMPLE THE SLOW & WEAK. #thankful #blessed".  I laughed pretty hard at that one.

Not that I judge anyone for going shopping on this day or any day.  I'm less concerned about what individuals do than I am about what our society as a whole says about its priorities.  Getting the best deal possible on the latest & greatest gadget is a great thing, but it isn't as great of a thing as a life of inner thankfulness for what one already has.  I generally avoid shopping on this day, and I won't on principle go shopping on Thanksgiving Day itself.  But that's me, and it's not everyone's choice.  I don't like Black Friday for what it says about us as a society, but at the same time I'm not going to go passing judgement on any one individual for buying stuff either.  The Huffington Post today has a piece today called "Black Friday vs. Jesus", which shows pictures of shoppers next to quotes from the New Testament that talk about the problems of materialism.  Although I generally agree with the sentiment, it's a bit over the top & judgmental   Jesus certainly wants us to live a life free from the trappings of too much stuff, but it's hard to not get the message from this piece that if you go shopping today that you're a materialistic person, and that's  a pretty simplistic and false message.  I know plenty of people who actually like Black Friday shopping (not something I personally can appreciate!) who aren't like that.

It is, on the other hand, disturbing that our culture places so much emphasis on stuff, and not nearly so much on living a life of gratitude.  The fact that our biggest consumption day of the year comes right after our biggest day of thanks of the year does seem to send a mixed message.  It's one thing to get a good deal and save some money, but it's another thing completely when we focus so much on the getting that we forget anything else - like the people around us or the things we already have.

Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast

I love this quote from Lewis Carroll's "Through the Looking Glass".  Alice says at first that "There's no use trying, one can't believe in impossible things."  But the queen responds by saying "I daresay you haven't had much practice.  When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day.  Why, sometimes I believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

It is easy to get discouraged; sometimes people say something is impossible, there's no use trying.  Often it is ourselves - we come to believe that something is impossible and give up before we even try.  But Alice is a girl who comes to learn that she can believe in and do impossible things.  Tim Burton & Johnny Depp teamed up for a truly weird but wonderful retelling of the story in 2010.  Spoiler alert, here's a clip from the end, when Alice realizes her ability to believe in impossible things.



What impossible things will you do today?

"Six: I can slay the Jabberwocky."

Wonderful

I close my eyes when I get too sad
I think thoughts that I know are bad
Close my eyes and I count to ten
Hope it's over when I open them

I want the things that I had before
Like a Star Wars poster on my bedroom door
I wish I could count to ten
Make everything be wonderful again

Hope my mom and I hope my dad
Will figure out why they get so mad
Hear them scream, I hear them fight
They say bad words that make me wanna cry

Close my eyes when I go to bed
And I dream of angels who make me smile
I feel better when I hear them say
Everything will be wonderful someday

Promises mean everything when you're little
And the world's so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
Tell me everything is wonderful now

Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now

I go to school and I run and play
I tell the kids that it's all okay
I laugh aloud so my friends won't know
When the bell rings I just don't wanna go home

Go to my room and I close my eyes
I make believe that I have a new life
I don't believe you when you say
Everything will be wonderful someday

Promises mean everything when you're little
And the world is so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
When you tell me everything is wonderful now

No
No, I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now
No
No, I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now

I don't wanna hear you say
That I will understand someday
No, no, no, no
I don't wanna hear you say
You both have grown in a different way
No, no, no, no
I don't wanna meet your friends
And I don't wanna start over again
I just want my life to be the same
Just like it used to be
Some days I hate everything
I hate everything
Everyone and everything
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now...

I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now

Imagine what would happen if the roles were reversed...

Imagine with me if the NY Times had published a story with the following headline:
"Men are both necessary and sufficient for (something really important, you fill in the blank); women are neither."

Now suppose that the article that followed that line went on to discuss how important men are and how completely unimportant women are.  Imagine the most misogynistic language you dare to muster in your head.  Imagine if the NY Times basically said that technology has made women obsolete, and that we don't really need them anymore.

Imagine the public outcry that would ensue.  The scenario described above would generate billions of angry tweets & blog posts, letters from hundreds of elected officials and other societal leaders, news media outlets would cover the story with clear disdain.  There would be counter articles denouncing the author, the publisher, and who knows who else associated with it.  Others would put forth great words on the wonderful things about women.  Others would talk about the negative effects that an article like this has on the psyche of young women.  Discussions of lawsuits & boycotts would be heard.  Someone at the NY Times would get fired.  And all of this would be entirely appropriate; I myself would join the outraged chorus of voices denouncing such an article and demanding a retraction.

But what happens if the NY Times publishes a piece with the tagline "Women are both necessary and sufficient for reproduction; men are neither", followed up by an article that states that men are good for entertainment, but that's about it.  We're really not worth much.  We're not needed.  Life would go on just fine without us.

What would happen in such a scenario?  Probably not much.  Watch & see if this article makes any waves, and if it doesn't, think deeply about the message that this sends to young men in our society who are trying to find their way in life, figure out what they're good at, some contribution they might make, some importance they serve.

Reasonable Gun Laws

After the horrible tragedy in Aurora, CO this past week, the intertubes are astir with opinions about gun laws.  Here are two links I read today that I think are really reasonable and well thought out.

The first is from the NY Times op-ed, a column on the long, difficult road that those who push for stronger gun control laws face.

The second is from the actor Jason Alexander, best known for his role as George Costanza on Seinfeld.  His piece is so balanced, well-thought out, and reasonable that I was honestly surprised that it came from an actor.

I don't agree with every point these two have made, but I can't say it any better than they have.  We have completely unreasonable gun laws in this country.  We need to find some middle ground that respects constitutional rights and yet makes it considerably more difficult for kooks to obtain military weapons and mass kill innocent people at a movie theater.

book review link

Nothing really to add here, just want to point my reader(s?) to this book review "When sex Goes 'Grey'" in Relevant.  Her points about abuse toward women should have everyone concerned about this.

THIS GUY.

Incredible, inspiring guy.

Reblog: "Name-calling is rhetorical pornography" from CNN Belief blog

Today at the CNN Belief blog, three evangelical Christian leaders have written up a fantastic post on name-calling.  They begin with the old statement we've all probably heard as children "sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me", and reject that completely.  Words matter.  Names do hurt.  They then go on to state very clearly that the name-calling that seems so prevalent in our popular culture these days is  inconsistent with the Christian message.  I like that at the end, they make the connection that not only must we find "nicer words", but we must find "a transformed perspective", which is based on "the innate humanity and dignity owed every individual".  It is not just words that must be kind, but attitude, our internal orientation toward others that we disagree with or don't like, that has to be fixed.

Christians and Political Parties

Amnesia, Denial, and The Family Research Council - News

The above its a blog post by Jonathan Merritt, an author and Baptist minister.  He says so much good stuff here, there really isn't much to add except "Amen!  Preach it, Preacher".

I Ain't Sugar Coatin'...

I'll let the legendary blue artist Mac Arnold spill the beans on this one:

"Young ladies don't make babies just 'cause you can

Every kid in the world needs to grow up with a man

Young men get busy, act like you care

Pull up your pants, stop showin' us your underwear.

I aint sugar coatin'
I aint sugar coatin'
I aint sugar coatin' 

just tellin' you like it is." 

The hardest thing about being a dad

Man do I love being a dad.  It's fun.  I'm so excited about my three smart, beautiful, kind little girls.

But being a good dad is tough.  It's hard.  Exhausting at times.  It's a balance of strength and gentleness, of fact and faith, of justice and mercy.

I have to let them know that I love them.  They need to feel it, deep in the subconscious brain where feelings grow & values form, way down in there.

Sometimes to give them what they want is to spoil them.  Sometimes to not give them what they want will crush their spirit.  I have to try to know when it's the one, and when it's the other.  Thankfully my wife helps me with that!

If when you get it wrong, you have to be aware of that and be able to adjust, be flexible, even apologize when you really fail.  At other times, you must not adjust to everything they say they want, but hold that ground and not give way.  At times you must be gentle, and other times you have to be very, very firm.

Sometimes I think there is a thing that feels like the loving thing to do, but if I really love them, I have to do the opposite.  Because what they want, and what they need, are at times worlds apart.  There are times I  want to pick them up - but sometimes I have to let them pick themselves up and cheer them on in doing it.  I may want to always hold their hand - but sometimes I have to let go.  Knowing when it's time to hold tight and when it's time to let go are tough; it seems that both can be mistakes and both can be the right thing, depending on the situation.

They have to learn to do things on their own, but they can't learn that without you.  Sometimes, though, their own personal experience is the only way they are going to really get it & learn the lessons they need for life.  And in those moments, your heart breaks.  Why didn't they just listen when I said that the first time?  Don't know, but sometimes we all have to learn things the hard way.

It can take everything you have to do what they need instead of what they want.  I think it is the balancing act, the tension between two truths, that is the hardest thing to get a handle on.  In a way though, it's freeing - the target continually moves, and you just move along with it.

The All Too Short Life of Rachael Scott

Last Wednesday, March 14, Darrell Scott, father of Rachael Scott who was killed in the Columbine, CO school shootings, spoke at ONU.  As a father of 3 little girls, I can't imagine losing one of them in this way.

"We must stop violence in our schools", he said.  Truth.  To stop violence, we must stop hatred & ignorance & apathy.  And we must realize that it begins in each of us.  It begins in me.  Cue the Michael Jackson "Man in the Mirror" music.

He spoke a lot about some things his daughter Rachael had written in a diary that they discovered under her bed after she was killed.  In it, she came up with a challenge - to start "a chain reaction of kindness and compassion", which she called her ethics and codes of life.  That is, she thought that by going out of her way to reach out to those around her with kindness, that this would change their hearts & minds, and in turn give them the ability to do the same.  That people would begin to believe in each other again.

The tone of attitudes and conversations that we hear, that surround us, that we bring, has such a tremendous effect on us.  It is as if our culture does much of our thinking for us.  If we're surrounded by ugly, we'll be ugly - unless we try really hard not to be.  And if we're surrounded by kindness, we'll react the same.  Of course, we can all choose our own posture within the tide, to swim with it or against it.  Rachael believed she could change the swimming direction of the whole school of fish by pointing it, one fish at a time, in the right direction.

I like it.  She was a beautiful soul.

It was heart-breaking to hear her Dad speak.  So much tragedy, so much pain in those senseless killings.  And yet, somehow in the half-hour I listened to him, somehow there was hope.  It was an amazing juxtaposition of sorrow and hope.  It reached down to your gut and twisted everything.

A few more gems:
"Give people three chances before judging them.  Don't rely on first, second, our even third impressions."
"Practice 'pre-acceptance' instead of prejudice."
"Look for the best in others."
"Look out for the the Disabled, new at school, picked on our put down by others.  One person can go out of their way to show kindness."
"Use words that heal, not words that hurt."
"Rachael refused to treat a bully with anything but kindness. She saw through the external meanness.  Don't look at a person, see through."

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Last night my family and I enjoyed the traditional Irish-American meal of corned beef, cabbage, potatoes, & carrots.

Today just this traditional Irish blessing:

May the road rise up to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields, and
Until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.

First World Problems

It's easy to complain, isn't it?

That's why the First World Problems meme making its way across the intertubes is so brilliant.  It highlights the thousands and thousands of things people say & do that are "problems" for people who live in wealthy, developed countries.  Your cell phone battery died?  Your fast food order wasn't right?  The video below is fantastic, and if that's not enough for you there's the #firstworldproblems hashtag on Google+ or twitter that will supply you with millions more examples.  And obviously, if these are the worst things we have to worry about in life, then we really don't have much to worry about in life.  Compare these problems to, say, for example, I don't know, maybe, the people of the Nuba mountains in Sudan?  Time to stop complaining & do something good.  Like stop the killings in Syria & Sudan.

But it's too bad he forgot to mention Justin Bieber.